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About The Rivalry, Esq.

JONATHAN M. FRANZ

is a law student at The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law and a staff editor of The Ohio State Law Journal.  He lives in Columbus, OH.

GRAHAM FILLER


is a law student at The University of Detriot Mercy.  He lives in Detriot, MI.

BAMA HAWKEYE

is a law graduate of The University of Iowa.  He works for the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.


Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: Nos 1 & 2 Contested Championships

After much adieu, I've elected to end the series with a formidable one-two punch. First, let's get this whole runner up thing out of the way.

Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: # 2 The Pose

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In ESPN describes in its chronicle of the The 100 most memorable plays, performances, and moments that define college football:

Only four other ends had won the Heisman Trophy, but that's not what made Michigan receiver Desmond Howard's 93-yard punt return for a touchdown against Ohio State in 1991 so special. When Howard reached the end zone, he struck a Heisman pose. Innocent prank? Yes, but it also signaled a new era in the marketing of the sport's top individual award. Like politics, the Heisman became all about TV exposure.

Douche.

Now, for the death blow:

Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: # 1 Contested Championships

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Sure, Michigan claims eleven National Championships.  But only three have been won since the modern era of NCAA record keeping begin in 1936. 

And, there's a problem with their athletic department's count.  ESPN only acknowledged two, when it visited Ann Arbor this summer to tape its Title Town segment.

I smell a Victorian Era rat.

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The Death of a Big Ten Traveling Trophy

If there was a Northwestern or Illinois blog on this network, there would be more written about this. The Sweet Sioux Tomahawk is being "retired" for all the wrong reasons.

If you want to suggest next year's trophy, act now.

comment 1 day ago Esq_tiny Bama Hawkeye comment 0 comments 0 recs

The Obligatory Predictions Competition - Week 13

College football's smartest picks contest.

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It's time to separate the men from the boys.  Rivalry Week turns our quasi-rational inquiry into an electric marathon of chance and frustration.  But first, the scoreboard:

Week 12 Obligatory Results

BAMA HAWKEYE (a.k.a. Fielding Yost -- 16-3- 1 against Ohio State in the Greatest Rivalry in All of Sports. 1901-1926.) 16
HOOKMANIA (a.k.a. Jim Tressel -- 6-1 against Michigan,  2001-present.) 15
FILLER (a.k.a. Herbert O. "Fritz" Crisler -- 7-2-1 against the Buckeyes,  1938-1947) 14
ESTRADA (a.k.a. Woody Hayes -- 16-11-1 versus That State Up North, 1951-1978) 12

FRANZ (a.k.a. Earl Bruce -- 5-4 against the Wolverines, 1979 -1987)

12
AZNSENSATION (a.k.a. Lloyd Carr -- 6-7 against the Scarlet.  Wishes Jim Tressel had never been born.  1995-2007) 10
PATERNOSGRANDDAUGHTER (a.k.a. John Cooper -- 2-10-1 versus the Maize and Blue. 1988-2000) 8

Week 12 Franz v. Filler winner FILLER

For the first time all season Franz failed to come back, widening Filler's lead to two. Trailing heading into bowl season is something Jon is all too familiar with.  Filler 7, Franz 5.

Crystal Ball Call (pick of the week): NORTHWESTERN by 3 (Bama Hawkeye).  Uninspiring on its own accord, this success takes on new meaning when we consider how its owner arrived at his conclusion.  "I have gotten almost every Michigan game wrong" said Bama, "I’m now Costanza-ing my pick. This is the exact opposite of what I really think will happen."

George would be proud.  Northwestern 21, Michigan 14.

Hindsight is 20/20: MICHIGAN by 10 (Filler).

Week 13:

1. MICHIGAN at No. 10 OHIO STATE 12:00 p.m. EST, ABC

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FILLER predicts OHIO STATE by 10

I picked OSU in last year's competition, justifying this traitorous move with this explanation: "The odds are with the Bucks and I want to win the Picks Competition, so I will make the easy pick. But if my Wolverines win, screw it, I miss one pick and get to dance on the grave of Woody Hayes." I stand by this mentality - I will be sitting in the South Stands in a Maize and Blue t-shirt, hoping for a semi close game.

FRANZ predicts OHIO STATE by 17

It's true.  Graham is joining me in the city of flaming couches for the Game and allowing me to ferry him into the student-dominated Block O wilderness.  In July, I wrote that this one had upset written all over it:

TO THE VICTORS BELONG THE SPOILS

Impossible, you say?

Remember 1969.

It's the fear of every Buckeye. Dubbed by the media as "the greatest college football team of all time," the top-ranked Scarlet came into the Rivalry riding the coattails of a 22-game winning streak, and led by the legendary Woody Hayes. Their adversary was rebuilding, a proud program down on its luck, fronted by a curious new coach: Schembechler.

Sound familiar?    

That, naturally, was before I saw Rodriguez's hideous amateur alchemy.  To add insult to injury, umm -- injury to insult, the Wolverines will play without Steven Threet.  Don't get me wrong: I'm fully aware that this is a rivalry where records and rankings don't matter.  It's just, 1995 seems so long ago.  Michigan keeps it close for two and a half quarters, then, goes quietly into the offseason.


2. INDIANA at PURDUE 12:00 p.m. EST, ESPN 2

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FILLER predicts PURDUE by 10

Joe Tiller, the man who led Purdue to 8 wins a year over the last 11 years, will be retiring, but probably not on the high note that people expected. His injury riddled 3-8 Boilermakers will take on their fellow last place Hoosiers, who also happen to be struggling with injuries. With all these disappointments and injured players, let’s take a quick look at Indiana’s Marcus Thigpen, a track star who also runs the ball for the Hoosiers. He’s scored on runs of 67, 78, 77, and 57 yards, easily outrunning defenders on these sprints. And if there’s any team he’s going to have success against, it’s the porous rush defense of Purdue.

FRANZ predicts PURDUE by 14

Indiana put on a solid first half showing at Beaver Stadium last week only to fall victim to the same fundamental inconsistencies that have plagued them all season: limited execution and a leaky offensive line that's allowed a worst in the Big Ten 27 sacks this year.  Joe Tiller might have imagined himself riding off into the I-65 sunset a la Lloyd Carr, on the heels of an epic January upset.  He'll have to settle for the home crowd salute.  Thanks for the memories Joe.

Continue reading this post »

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Top Five Annoying Things About Ohio State: #2 Mixed Up Priorities

I have visited some famous places in my life, thanks mostly to the historically-inclined vacation tendencies of my mother. I played 18 at St. Andrews, drifted around the Bloody Angle in Virginia, visited the Old North Church in Boston...But according to this website, all my travels were in vain. Why? Because I haven't enlisted my family members or fellow travelers to hoist their arms in the O-H-I-O salute.

Ohio_state_1_medium

Oh that church was nice, but LOOK at the form on that last "O"!

This degradation of historic monuments and destinations would be a lesser issue if it wasn't so popular and celebrated. Buckeye students and family members have filled the University's O-H-I-O picture web page with over 2200 images of pure Buckeye egotism. I'm sure the scrapbooking conversations are wonderful:

Jim Buckeye: O hunny look, there we are touring Chichen Itza, one of the worlds most mysterious and historic places.

Jill Buckeye: Oh yes, and there we are doing the O-H-I-O with the kids in the Temple of Warriors! Go Bucks!

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Note 1: The Leaning Tower hates American football and isn't willingly participating in this family moment. Note 2: That first "O" is a square Dad - bend those arms.

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Top Five Annoying Things About Ohio State: #3 O-H-I-Oh Shut Up

Let me just say, there are few things more annoying than hearing that damn O-H-I-O chant all year. As I wrote this summer:

As a Michigan football fan, I am disgusted and underwhelmed whenever I see Buckeye fans chant O-H-I-O and accompany this intellectually challenging chant with arm motions. This repetitive chant is not original or witty (i.e. when an inspired crowd cleverly mocks an opposing player). The chant is not deep and meaningful, like an English soccer crowd singing a one hundred year old drinking song. The O-H-I-O chant leads me to believe that many Ohio State fans are not very educated and truly rejoice when they realize they can spell the name of their beloved state.

But that doesn't mean I can't be understanding of this behavior. It's not their fault that the whole state rallies itself by screaming a word fit for a 2nd grade geography spelling bee. Included in my last summer piece was this conciliatory note:

As a college football fan, I think the O-H-I-O chant is the kind of ritual that is as important as football game and the players themselves. The chant shows pride and tradition (however simple that tradition is). The chant breeds familiarity: if you're an OSU fan screaming O-H-I-O in the Horseshoe, you're surrounded by 100,000 of your closest friends.

Butttttttttttt it's Michigan Week, so I'm annoyed.

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Great minds think alike.

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Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: # 3 False Idol

Calm down.  You knew it was coming. 

This entry was suggested to me by a good friend who feared it might be a bit "too soon" to faithfully execute.  Fortunately, The Greatest Rivalry in Sports knows no such courtesies.

Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: No. 3 False Idol

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False Idol?

For twenty years (1969-1989), Bo Schembechler was a walking legend on the Michigan sidelines, his iron-taloned visage, down parka, and chrome-rimmed avaitor glasses reminiscent of a State Highway Patrolman.  He was described as "a consummate 'coach's coach,'" with a "superb technical command of the game" and a "fiery disposition," attributes that led him to find success against mentor Woody Hayes in "The Ten Year War." 

During his tenure in Ann Arbor, he compiled an impressive 194-48-5 record (.796 winning percentage) and led the Wolverines to 13 conference championships and 17 bowl appearances behind the populist banner: "Those who stay will be champions."

But he was wrong.  After thirty-seven years of coaching a "'remorseless and punishing' brand of football" Schembechler walked away from the game having never sustained a program at an elite level -- and without a national championship.

Pathetic in Pasadena

In two decades Bo Schembechler followed the gold rush to Pasadena ten times.  He walked away with just two Rose Bowl victories.  Take a look:

Jan. 1, 1970 Rose Southern California L 3-10 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1972 Rose Stanford L 12-13 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1976 Orange Oklahoma L 6-14 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1977 Rose Southern California L 6-14 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1978 Rose Washington L 20-27 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1979 Rose Southern California L 10-17 Bo Schembechler
Dec. 29, 1979 Gator North Carolina L 15-17 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1981 Rose Washington W 23-6 Bo Schembechler
Dec. 31, 1981 BlueBonnet UCLA W 33-14 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1983 Rose U.C.L.A. L 14-24 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 2, 1984 Sugar Auburn L 7-9 Bo Schembechler
Dec. 21, 1984 Holiday Brigham Young L 17-24 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1986 Fiesta Nebraska W 27-9 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1987 Rose Arizona State L 15-22 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 21 1988 Hall of Fame Alabama W 28-24 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 2, 1989 Rose Southern California W 22-14 Bo Schembechler
Jan. 1, 1990 Rose Southern California L 10-17 Bo Schembechler

(Courtesy University of Michigan Athletics)

Schembechler's Wolverines finished the season in the top three only twice.

Perhaps most tellingly, Bo never got past his 1985 second-place finish.  As my friend put it, "Larry Coker has won more championships."

But Bo sure has a lot more friends.

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My Beautiful Reward

While the two overlords of this site are having their pissing match as to whose school is more annoying (hint: you're both right), I feel comfortable focusing in much more depth about the bowl futures of each team. After this week, it's just the game of watching the rest of college football finish. This is the last bit of destiny that these eight teams control. As a primer, here is the Bowl Selection Order for this season:

1) Rose Bowl, 2) Second BCS Bowl, 3) Capital One Bowl, 4) Outback Bowl, 5) Alamo Bowl, 6) Champs Bowl, 7) Insight Bowl, 8) Motor City Bowl

Also, with a few exceptions, bowls are not required to take the available team with the best record. Head-to-head wins mean little. Butts in the seat and eyes to the set mean a lot. Conveniently, the eight teams can be sorted into three tiers. I don't foresee a circumstance in which anyone from a lower tier jumps a school from a higher tier. Off we go...

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Beware the droppings of this rodent as it approaches the bowl party.  Details below...

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Big 10 Quarterback Rankings: 2008 Final Edition

My final QB rankings of the year are here and I am getting the feeling that QB rankings are sometimes insufficient in telling the whole story. Ricky Stanzi beat Penn State, but only threw for 71 yards against Purdue. Juice Williams' passing rating is leading the Big 10, but probably won't make a single 1st or 2nd All Conference team. Just like in the past, I want to use a combination of four factors to rate the QB's: 1) Stats, 2) Leadership, 3) Teams effect on QB play, 4) Intangibles. I hope you enjoy The Rivalry's Big 10 Quarterback Rankings, 2008 Final Edition.

QB                       
Team Comments

#1

Daryll Clark

PSU

Game Average for Clark: 14-23, 196 yards, 1 TD. Certainly not spectacular, but he got the ball to the numerous weapons that PSU possesses. His 8 rushing touchdowns and effective QB runs made Penn State dangerous near the goal line.

#2

Terrelle Pryor

OSU

Tremendous running ability (50 ypg) and size helped the Buckeye's rush the ball effectively against every Big 10 team except PSU. His "Superman" ability to shake tackles and throw on the run helped the Bucks convert third and longs. Would be the top rated QB, but he hasn't thrown enough passes to qualify.

#3

Juice Williams

MINN

This turnover machine has disappointed constantly this year, but his mom loves him, so I'll be gentle. Negatives: Subpar offensive line, locks onto wide receivers, throws BAD picks. Positives: Improved mechanics, great escapability, most passing yards in the Big 10. Blew the Western game with rollercoaster throws, but the O Line didnt help.

#4

Adam Weber

ILL

ESPN guessed that he would be named 2nd team All Big 10.They didn't watch the last three games, where he was hovering near the 50% completion mark. Weber is a good QB, but he never posted eye popping numbers, and the Decker injury slowed him considerably. Weber's profile was probably raised by Minnesota's success against weaker competition, not his outstanding talent. Strategy Note : It looks like Michigan and Northwestern found the blueprint for slowing the quick pass MN offense - How will Weber and Brewster adapt next year?

#5

Ricky Stanzi

IOWA

Having a conservative offensive coordiantor and Shonn Greene have made Stanzi a persona non grata in some games. But this newbie engineered 4th quarter scoring drives in back to back games, showing some major endgame kahoonas.

#6

Brian Hoyer

MSU

After tearing up the Wolverines with a near flawless 3 touchdown game, has struggled against Wisconsin and Purdue. Hoyer began making throws he wasn't capable of making and has paid for it with picks and low completion %. Strategy Note: For Hoyer to succeed against PSU, the coaching staff needs to diagram routes that worked earlier in the season; slants to White and quick swing passes.

#7

C.J. Bacher

NW

Missed two games and watched his backup run for 217 yards while leading the Wildcats to a huge win over Minnesota. Came back after a Kafka concussion and beat Michigan with a near flawless 2nd half performance. Negative: Has thrown enough ugly picks in his career to have one Big 10 Network anchor call them the "signature" of his career.

#8

Dustin Sherer

WI

Like Stanzi, is easily obscured by the run based offense and the star halfbacks on his time. Sherer showed a lot of guts and accuracy against a Minnesota team that is sure to have 2-3 All Big 10 defenders. If not for some horrendous endgame coaching by Bielema, would be leading the Badgers on a 4-0 streak.

#9

Ben Chappell

IND

Sure, your team is horrendous, but take heart that you haven't been the one killing them. His performance against Northwestern (21-34, 219 yards, passing TD, plus a rushing TD) showed that he could succeed in the Big 10, even without a strong supporting cast. See you next year!

#10

Curtis Painter / Justin Siller

PU

After Siller proved ineffective, Tiller threw the once upon a time pro prospect in the game. Painter almost took the Boilers over Iowa, losing by five and putting up great stats (24-30, 190 yards, 1 TD). The instability of the Purdue QB situation has been one of the major stories in the Big 10 this year. Remember that this was supposed to be a 9 win team; how quickly that idea was thrown out.

#11

Nick Sheridan

UM

Weird comment from an ESPN2 apologist, explaining why Sheridan was horrible against Northwestern: "Sheridan wasn't brought in to do this." Oh really? After a cool and calm performance against Mini, the weather threw Sheridan off to the tune of a 25% completion rate against the Wildcats. Onto the Horseshoe meatgrinder...

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Top Five Annoying Things About Ohio State: #4 THEEEE Ohio State University

Miami University (Ohio). Ohio University. University of Toledo. Bowling Green State University. University of Dayton. University of Cincinnati. University of Akron. ThesOhio_state_1_mediume are some excellent Ohio colleges, worthy of sending your son or daughter to.

But people, let's be honest. There is only one Ohio school worthy of lifting up a giant THE before its name and having its fans correct people about the use of this illustrious THE. The effect of this self imposed grandiosity can be felt throughout the state. When I attended Miami (OH), I noticed that some of the students from Columbus were doubly rabid Buckeye fans. It was almost like the kids felt bad for leaving the C-bus mothership to matriculate elsewhere, so they made up for this betrayal by cheering extra loud for the Bucks.  

So in case there was any confusion about the pronunciation, or usage, let me clear things up. It's: THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY...And they call us pompous.

Poll
What Big 10 school is located in Columbus, Ohio?

  65 votes | Results

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Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: # 4 Silent Stadium

With its 106,201 (soon to be over 108,000) seating capacity, the Big House enjoys its birthright as college football's most voluminous venue.  But, despite hosting a burgeoning blue sea, Michigan Stadium is a bit, well, boring.

Top Five Annoying Things About Michigan: No. 4 Silent Stadium

The-big-house_medium

Franz thinks the Big House crowd generates all the emotion of a Bob Ross painting.

I've got to believe that somewhere beneth the semi-submerged, smoltering jungle of painted steel rivets, concrete aisles, and limited portals there's a scuole of spirit -- some distant relic of tradition and fanfare.  

But, as CSTV reports on its Battle of the Blogs segment:

Ok, here is one category where I must give the nod to our Buckeye brethren to the south. Sitting inside the 'Shoe during a game is something akin to sticking one's head in a jet engine. When not hurling F-bombs at frightened Michigan fans or spelling other four-letter words such as O-H-I-O with the rest of the stadium like they're practicing for a really easy spelling bee, OSU fans can be a loud, intimidating bunch that turn The Horseshoe into one of the loudest stadiums in all the land.

Michigan Stadium...not so much.

Michigan fans are very fond of the "key play" cheer by which, during "key" moments of the game like a critical third down for the opposing team, U-M fans -- in unison mind you -- reach into their pockets or purses, withdraw their key chains...and begin to jangle them with all their might. The hope here is that the mere sight of tens of thousands of Wolverine fans shaking their car key against their house key -- over and over again in the stadium -- is enough to cause an illegal procedure penalty for the opponent, either when the sun hits the keys just right and blinds them or from laughing so hard at the lameness of it.

Advantage: Ohio State

What's the culprit?  It's the shape, stupid.  Michigan Stadium's classic concave bowl sends soundwaves airborne.  (Not convinced?  Harvard's Physcs Department has got my back.  It's not exactly good cocktail party conversation, but here's an essay on the "Effect of Concave Sound Reflecting Surfaces on Speech Intelligibility and Articulation Index.")   

And The Michigan Daily confirms:

Sound often evaporates into the air at The Big House, which has a reputation for being a relatively quiet stadium despite touting the nation's largest crowds. Because there aren't many things for the crowd noise to reflect off of, the oval-shaped bowl loses sound...

...In a press conference in September, Penn State wideout Deon Butler said the noise and intimidation factor at The Big House were low for a stadium of its size.

"It's not a super-overwhelming place," he said. "Yes, it's large, and they're supposed to have more people than us, but it's not overwhelming in the sense that it's not as tense as Beaver Stadium. Their fans aren't near as rowdy as our fans."

But what about the rennovation?  Hopes are high that the big bowl's new press boxes will reflect and contain the raw sound.  As UM Faculty confirm, the new cover stands to magnify the total sound output 10-11 decibles (from 100 db to 111 db in the student section), the equivalent of a Van Halen Panama encore. 

But compare that to the Stadium that once prompted University of Iowa coach Hayden Fry to complain that the fans were too loud to call plays, and suggest that sound meters be used to gauge the noise level, penalizing the home team for too much volume and you see why the Shoe remains the stentorian sultan.

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WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING

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- Around the Oval

"Every...Big 10 Blogger will be upset if one of you doesn't murder the other by 2011."

- Black Heart, Gold Pants