Looking for another essentialist way to mash numbers with logic, ESPN spent the last week counting down College Football's Most Prestigious Programs, using an especially random yardstick for point gains, and limiting their evaulation to the modern era (1936 to present).

For whatever reason -- and what in no way amounts to an endorsement of this kind of coffee-breath statistics -- I've picked up the torch where they left off to rank the major conferences in order of prestige.  If you can't beat em,' join em.'

Who really has historical bragging rights?

1. Big Ten (Average Rank: 38.72)

2. ACC (Average Rank: 38.75)

3. SEC (Average Rank: 39.66)

4. Pac 10 (Average Rank: 39.8)

5. Big Twelve (Average Rank: 43.33)

6. Big East (Average Rank: 63.75)

Surprised?  Despite our recent tepid accomplishments, the North continues to rule the conference roost.  

We've called ourselves college football's most esteemed conference.  We've called ourselves college football's smartest conference.  Now, according to ESPN, we can stop beating around the bush:

The Big Ten is College Football's Most Prestigious Conference.

If that doesn't make a Southerner's blood boil, I don't know what will.  The SEC can have it's little run -- and its neon pants fun in the sun.  The Big 12 can play basketball, and call it football.   

Remember, History repeats.  And college football's true elite will soon reclaim its rightful gray sky, cold-weather, bloody-kuckled place in the order of the sport.

It's our destiny.