I had a female roommate who informed me one Thursday, out of the blue, that we were throwing a co-ed sex toy party that weekend and I needed to vacuum. Having little idea what this entailed, I googled "sex toy parties" and came up with a bunch of ladies who looked like Mary Kay salespeople, only they weren't pushing makeup. It was an interesting party, needless to say.

So why do I bring up awkward details of my past? Because one of the wonderful objects sold at this party was something commonly referred to as "anal beads." Enjoy urbandictionarying that if you don't know what it is. Here is an image, found after some intriguing google searching:

To shorten this inappropriate, awesome discussion, I give to you a picture from last year's trip to Columbus.

Yeah. All over his neck. What a tradition. O-H-I-OHHHHHHH Yeahhhhhhhh baby.