Last Call Drinks Sauternes, Puts Himself in Charge a la Charlie Weis
If Charlie Weis is allowed to promote, demote, and re-promote himself to Notre Dame's offensive throne, I should be allowed a modest elevation in title. So, effective immediately, I'll be Commissioner of the Big Ten Conference.
Sure, ex-Comissioner Jim Delany wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea at first -- but he felt better once he got a phone call from his college sweetheart: the ACC. Charmed at a return to Tobacco Road, and the box of Casa Magna Colorado Robustos I mailed, it was bye, bye, baldie.
Now that I'm in charge, I'm not wasting any time. Here's a few immediate changes I intend to institute:
Saturday Night Halides. First and foremost, it's time to say primetime -- every week. Starting with 2009-10, the Big Ten Conference will routinely feature marquis matchups, under the coal black skies of the Midwest. Get a parking spot early, and bring extra propane, It's time to drink and grill all day. Here are a few of the 8:00 p.m. smokescreens you can look forward to next season:
Sept. 26: Iowa @ Penn State
Oct. 3: Michigan @ Michigan State
Oct. 10: Wisconsin @ Ohio State
Oct. 17: Iowa @ Wisconsin
Oct. 24: Penn State @ Michigan
Oct. 31: Michigan State @ Minnesota
Nov. 7: Ohio State @ Penn State
Nov. 14: Northwestern @ Illinois
Nov. 21: Ohio State @ Michigan
Drives on Draft. Every stadium, from Champagne to State College will be hopped up and unfiltered, as Commissioner LB liberalizes the concession lineup to feature hand-pulled microbrews with local flavor and ingredients. A few mentionables:
Columbus Pale Ale (Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH)
Goose island Harvest Ale (Ryan Field, Evanston, IL)
Angelic '99 Shilling Malt Ale (Camp Randall, Madison, WI)
Bell's Best Brown Ale (Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI)
FreeStone Blonde (Memorial Stadium, Bloomington, IN)
Mt. Nittany Pale Ale (Beaver Stadium, State College, PA)
More on the platform when Last Call returns to the barstool tomorrow...
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Comments
Hawkeye Vodka!
OK, so maybe Iowa City needs something better than that.
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by studbucket on Feb 16, 2009 7:35 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I'll take
a 16 ounce cup of that over a 16 ounce cup of an ale everyday…
by Bama Hawkeye on Feb 16, 2009 9:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Hey, now. Be fair.
Vodka has, on average 40% ABV — to ale’s 6%.
Accordingly, the choice should be between:
1. A 16 ounce beer or a 3.8 ounce shot of Hawkeye Vodka.
2. A a 16 ounce shot of Hawkeye vodka or an 87 ounce stein of ale.
I’m going with the beer both times.
The Rivalry, Esq.
Big Ten Football. Excuses Included.
by Law Buckeye on Feb 16, 2009 11:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
#2 tells me
that you have 71 ounces of worthless liquid.
by Bama Hawkeye on Feb 16, 2009 1:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
OSU v UM (at night)
Thats controversial man
by grahamfiller10 on Feb 16, 2009 2:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
That’s putting it lightly, some older folk may refer to that as heresy.
by Estrada on Feb 16, 2009 11:51 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I know its nit picking, but I would leave the OSU game at 330…I mean, thats so traditional, and its such a midwestern game with the gray november evening…and im sure there will be a huge 8 oclock game that night…why not OSU and UM have that 330 timeslot and hold all those ratings and tradition…
by grahamfiller10 on Feb 17, 2009 9:31 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

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