Girl You Wanna Come To My Rotel: Analyzing the Big Ten Network's Childish Shows and Promo's

by grahamfiller10 on Sep 17, 2009 10:39 PM CDT in All Comment 8 comments

I wrote an attack piece on Tom Dienhart awhile back, accusing him of using words of mine for his own article. After sending the piece to FSUncensored and Law Buckeye, I chose not to post it because they both said the same thing: You run a nice, non-homer blog that does one thing well (editorializing on Big Ten football) - why mess with that formula?

Point taken. Whining and bitching about minute issues isn't our MO. So I don't bring up the BTN's childish programming lightly. I just want to know...Why? Who greenlights those "Hot Guys" promo's or the Fight Club rip off spots that make me want to change the channel? How did a billion dollar network decide that its point men for getting to know the brilliant Big Ten campus's would be blithering fools?

Loving the Big Ten Network comes easy to me. I DVR almost every single game, I watch the highlights on my On Demand and immerse myself in Big Ten football. The BTN loves people like me! I'd never heard of Rotel before this two year blitz of advertising, but one day I may consider buying me some Rotel dip because dammit I can't ignore all the wonderful events that Rotel sponsors!

But the BTN has ignored its target audience (me) with Tim and Steve, the jokers whose humor seems a good fit for Saturday morning Nickelodeon. See a brilliant spot below, as these fools annoy the hell out of a poor Wisconsin student and make me want to avoid the shores of Lake (...) in the hopes of not running into them.

Playing club tennis at Miami (OH), I got to travel everywhere. Madison was unforgettable for me. People were sleeping in tents on the frozen lake and the party we threw went for so long that I ended up sleeping in a van because God knows I wasn't going to get any sleep in that house. Steve and Tim, leave people alone! Leave them aloooone! Res Ipsa, let the campus speak for itself. BTN, these are the kind of guys I hope don't show up to my parties. Why make them a vital part of your college focused programming?

I refuse to post the Fight Club mimicking pow wow between the four office bound dorks who almost reach climax describing the upcoming BTN programming. Airing constantly, I am embarrassed by this spot. You've got press conferences from big time coaches, the Big Ten's greatest games, and decent analysis by Dinardo and Martin (who have both improved from last year, in my opinion). And yet viewers are treated like 9 year olds, subjected to unfunny spots like below, featuring a Laurel and Hardy-esque soundtrack.

The Big Ten has suffered a lot of disrespect nationally and we feel it everywhere. Ever been on a golf course with a nice Georgia boy and have him tell you that any SEC team could win the Big Ten? Uh huh. Ever watched the best team in your conference get overrun in the national title game or Rose Bowl? Oh yeah baby. So when the Midwest's Best and Jim Delaney successfully implement a money making, game showing billion dollar network, what does the BTN do? Gum itself up with juvenile, ineffective promotions and advertisements that make it seem like a second rate network. Just what we needed.

So do something. Throw out Tim and Steve and grab some Midwest regulars, people who live and breathe Big Ten football and can walk you through these amazing campuses in a non-douchey manner. Stop the 1990's sitcom HarHar humor and "if you were an M&M what color and flavor what you be" questions in favor of some editorializing on the incredibly popular sport that you should to be the #1 destination for. Create a Jim Rome for Big Ten country, someone who discusses Big Ten sports without a filter. Get a little harder. And if that pisses off all the administrators who pay top dollar to get their Campus Programming spots, watch them soften when people begin watching the BTN for more than just games.

Make sure to go back and submit your picks for Week 3 of the Obligatory Predictions Contest. Weekly winners get a chance to write 500 words on the site. NEW this year is our season long competition - win the whole damn thing and we send you something amazing.

0 recs | Comment 8 comments | Share

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Agreed.

I can’t watch the BTN unless it is a game(new or classic). It is so bland, boring and foolish. If they had some programming you discussed or something unique, I would watch it all the time. The production quality is terrible, awful cameramen. Dime a dozen analysis. Nothing special besides offering me games I might not get to see otherwise. This thing should be a little closer to tWWL(production wise, not content). And being that the focus is 11 great, tradition filled, raucus campuses, there should be much more compelling content.

Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."

by Roland86 on Sep 18, 2009 2:25 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I think they're lazy

This isn’t my business, but honestly, how hard should it be? They need to think about their demographic that wants to watch football or look at campus programming, and instead pushes those douche rockets out in front. Ugh. I hate those guys. Immediately turn the channel, or mute, as soon as they go into their lame bit. They are horrible.

by txhawkeye on Sep 18, 2009 7:41 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Showcase a New Dorm, or...

Perhaps we can showcase some of the fine traditions that happen at the University of Michigan, or great places to visit on campus, etc. Graham, I’m sure that you would have preferred to have a look at something more exciting than “oooh, you’re one of the first men into an old ‘all female’ dorm here, what did you find?”

I have to agree with Roland, I will only watch the games on BTN, everything else is worthless “fluff” (and I use that term loosely). I bet they could pay a couple of recent grads (or seniors who don’t give a damn) to go to all of the campuses and figure out the places that you “have to see.” For instance, at Iowa, go to Hamburg Inn, or The Magic Bus (as much as I hate that piece of shit).

They took the bar, the whole damn bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Sep 18, 2009 9:48 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

But no talking about alcohol

Because people don’t drink at college…And they don’t go to bar’s at college.

College is so complex, so layered, just as college football is. But because all the creative people weren’t allowed in the BTN complex, we come away with shows and programming devoid of imagination.

I had an idea for a show (I wonder if BTN is hiring, hmm). It basically takes a nutso undergrad or two and they walk through the awesomeness of a gameday. Completely. Fine, if you want to follow someone who isn’t hungover and doesn’t cuss a lot, no problem. But act like people have personalities, don’t just create cliched characters or play into institutional stereotypes.

The Rivalry, Esq.
Big Ten Football: 3 Yards and a Cloud of Field Turf

by grahamfiller10 on Sep 18, 2009 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I know it's the Big Ten Network

… but if the SU / Penn State broadcast was typical of non-conference games on the Big Ten Network, the broadcasters need a strictly worded memo reminding them that the other team on the field does, in fact, exist, even if it’s not very good.

by drothgery on Sep 18, 2009 9:56 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs