Dear Fans & Members of the Big Ten Conference:

We're sorry.

Sincerely,

Gopher Football

Dear Gophers:

I need to admit to you... I have been negative. 

I was pretty negative here, and I was VERY negative here. 

I'm not going to apologize for being negative because let's be honest, you haven't given me much to be positive about.  But today I am writing to beg of you: please show up for the Insight Bowl. 

The Insight Bowl selection committee gave you a gift by choosing Iowa State over Missouri... please don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Gophers, I am on my knees, I am absolutely begging you: TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUSINESS.  This isn't just about us anymore, it's about the Big Ten.  It's about representing your conference on a national stage against a school from another major conference who you should absolutely beat.  Wisconsin took care of their business against Miami, and it's time for you to look inside of yourselves, find that defense who played against Iowa, find that offense that played against Michigan State, and take care of your business.  Now take a look outside of yourselves and realize that the Big Ten is counting on you to win this game in spectacular fashion. 

Thank you.

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To the Gophers Coaching Staff:

I have pleaded with your team, but now I have a bone to pick with you.  I'm asking you to pull your collective head out of your proverbial collective ass.  You have done a very good job of amassing talent for this program... NOW DO SOMETHING WITH IT!!!

I'm past the point of pleading with you to establish the run, to get Hayo Carpenter involved in the offense, to give MarQueis Gray an entire series at QB, to make Kevin Whaley the work horse in the backfield.  I don't care how you do it, just get these guys involved and move the ball.  Score some points, be creative, don't be so damn predictable. 

You can win this game, youDon't make me be the only writer here at The Rivalry, Esq who has to apologize for his team's performance.  I stopped making excuses for you long ago, and finally just admitted that you weren't a good team.  Prove me wrong.

You should win this game, we expect you to win this game.  You have a chance to start your 2010 season on a very high note.  Do Gopher Nation, the state of Minnesota and the Big Ten Conference proud...

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Around here we call ourselves "The quintessential Big Ten smoking room."  They don't allow smoking in offices anymore (shame), so today, I'm hijacking our subtitle... Welcome to The proverbial Big Ten water cooler.

I thought about postponing these tidbits until after Christmas (yes, I said Christmas, not "the holiday"), but let's be honest: between your company paid holiday (THEIR word, not mine) potluck, the secret Santa reveal, the white elephant unwrapping, extra trips to the coffee machine to kill time, and the multiple YouTube videos that are floating around the office today... you're looking to kill some time.

You could be reading about The Rose Bowl, the National Championship, or even last night's Las Vegas Bowl and the veritable tornado that they played through.  But instead you are here, reading about the Insight Bowl.  In the words of Napoleon Dynamite: "LUCKY!"

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Here's a list of topics that I was considering writing about today and in parentheses the reason why I'm not writing about them:

Iowa State v Minnesota: national impact (There isn't any... moving on.)

Iowa State v Minnesota: two programs on the rise? (I can't lie to you and tell you that I feel like the Gophers are on the rise right now... get back to me in 9 months.)

Cheesehead v Corn-on-the-cob-head: which is the better food related headware? (While I have very strong opinions on this topic, it doesn't have anything to do with Minnesota or football.)

Ultimately, as a Gopher fan, the pending college football bowl season is difficult for me to get excited about because no matter how hard I try I can't get myself real excited for the Insight Bowl. 

Sad, I know. 

So, after The Jump I'll break down the offensive v defensive statistical match-ups and try to decipher what it all means.

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They say that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.  So what exactly does that say about the Minnesota Gophers football squad returning to the Insight Bowl for the third time in four years?

We'll get to that another time.  As for today, what is the history of this bowl?

The Insight Bowl is the third incarnation of the name of the bowl that started out as the Copper Bowl in 1989, then changed to the Insight.com Bowl in 1996 when Insight Enterprises took over the naming rights.  The game has been called the Insight Bowl since 2002.

The Big Ten got involved with the Insight Bowl in 2006 when the game began to feature a match-up between our beloved conference and a Big 12 school.  That, of course, was the year Texas Tech staged the biggest comeback in Division I bowl history, coming back from a 38-7 deficit mid-way through the 3rd quarter.  That utter collapse also proved to be the final straw in Glen Mason's undoing as head of the Gophers. 

In the three year history of the Big Ten v Big 12 match-up in the Insight Bowl, the Big Ten is 0-3, with Minnesota accounting for two of those losses (2006 v Texas Tech, 2008 v Kansas).  The other was an Indiana loss in 2007 to Oklahoma State. 

The reality of the situation is that, outside of the first two and a half quarters of the 2006 Minnesota v Texas Tech Insight Bowl, the Big Ten has not been competitive in this game.

Gopher fans and Big Ten fans alike can agree on one thing, that needs to change this year.

Call me Lt. Daniel Kaffee if you must.  If it was me standing there, yelling at Col. Nathan Jessep, demanding the truth, and he yelled back at me "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"  He'd be right.  I can't handle the truth, not today.

Here are the facts:

The Gophers finished the season 6-6, which happens to be exactly where a lot of people thought they would end up.

Unless you believed Graham, Law Buck and Bama Hawk.  And if you did, I'm sorry.

The Gophers beat Syracuse, Air Force, Northwestern, Purdue, Michigan State and South Dakota State.  They were absolutely expected to win 5 of those games, with Michigan State being the trump card.  They lost to Cal, Wisconsin, Penn State, Ohio State, Illinois and Iowa.  Five of those teams are very good teams.  Illinois is the game that stings the most.

So, the facts can be summed up as such: The Gophers finished the season with the record that many people felt they would, they won the games that they were supposed to win, most of the games they lost were to better teams, and they didn't do enough in the fence games to get them past a .500 record.

Now the truth...

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We have favorites and we have loyalties, but if the Big Ten is going to climb out the national perception doldrums, we're going to have to do it together.  That means that we have to all be pulling in the same direction.  Here's what I want to see from each Big Ten team in their non-conference battles this week. These columns are really short this time of year...

Minnesota (vs. South Dakota State)

I want to see Adam Weber and MarQueis Gray demonstrate why each should be the starting quarterback.  I want to see the running game pound the smaller Jackrabbit (yes, that's the SDSU nickname) line.  I want Minnesota to be up by such a comfortable margin that even if the Jackrabbits brought alum Adam Vinatieri out of stands to kick a game-ending field goal, it would only close the gap to a three touchdown defecit.

Make sure to go back and submit your picks for Week 11 of the Obligatory Predictions Contest. Weekly winners get a chance to write 500 words on the site.

What I Want

I want Minnesota to play withe the fire they showed in the second half last week.

What I Expect

Minnesota to clinch a bowl berth with a win that is closer than it should be.

What We've Got So Far

The Big Ten is 30-10 (.750) out of conference.  The league is 5-8 against BCS Conference teams (plus Notre Dame). Indiana's loss to Virginia guarantees that the Big Ten can finish with no better than a .500 record against the other BCS schools.  The league has two losses to non-BCS teams (Northern Illinois over Purdue and Central Michigan over Michigan State). 

I was at The Bank (TCF Bank Stadium) on Saturday evening for a Halloween Gopher match-up with the Michigan State Spartans.  I was sitting in the top row of the upper deck (as a side note, still great seats).  I was wearing layers of warm clothing.  I was wearing a Gophers stocking cap (a tuque for you Canadians).  I was surrounded by other Gopher fans, and I was two sections away from a large group of Michigan State fans. 

As I walked out of The Bank the scoreboard read Minnesota 42, Michigan State 34.  I saw all of these things with my very own eyes. 

I also saw Adam Weber throwing to 6 different receivers.  I saw Nick Tow-Arnett lead the team in receptions.  I saw Da'Jon McKnight emerge as a Gopher receiver.  I saw the Gophers get yellow-flagged 17 times, and I saw those penalties cost them 157 yards.  Again, I saw all of these things with my very own eyes, so I have to believe that they happened.

Graham made a compelling case for benching Weber...

I talked last week about optimism leaving Gopher Nation after Decker went down...

But there is something else that I saw with my own eyes that I am just not sure I believe...

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